Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Christmas Letter From Nowhere


Dear Everyone,

Today has been the best day yet since we alighted in Telluride. Ah, what a rich sojourn it has been. We awoke this morning to the pit-pat sounds of artificial raindrops in our indoor biosphere. So enchanting, but one does get used to it.

And my, it has been a busy and fruitful year. Little Loren is doing terrifically well in her last year of pre-boarding school. We all can't wait for her to take flight at last, though it will be bittersweet for me, at least. My little girl-- a chip off the old (not too old!) block, I'm sure! Can't wait to get away from Mummy, and then can't wait to return and show Mummy what she's learned! (But not everything, of course!) Grandmama visited this last month for our Thanks-giving and alas, she and Grandpapa shall return forthwith for the solstice. They beam with pride at the progress the children have made!


Early this year, Ben my hubby sent us off from Taiwan with a sweet kiss or two and an organically-sourced picnic lunch for the long plane trip, which I must say was the source of a fine and long-deserved sleep for me! Our deluxe pod was comme il faut. I shall have to complain to the senior vice president of conciergerie.


B continues to do well, I believe, at the firm with his busy, busy, never-ending job, and his packed social calendar. They are a tight group, that firm. I don't know how all those consultant girls stand it with only one of him around!


But we left just in time for the hot season to commence without us, and commence it did, I am told by B and other sources. I shall miss our townhome, but the summer sultriness, not much.
Ah, well, so it goes-- the seasons, the seasons... Telluride, on the other hand, has been crisp for us for the duration of our stay, though at times the sun sets and we have a little 
nightfall. Miranda goes down to the cellar to fetch us just the right bottle at such times. What a dear she is, worth every penny. I gifted her a non-GMO apple today-- I have always been generous!

The winter has been quite a busy one as well. First it gave us un petit hailstorm, which left the slightest dew on the garden afterwards; later, the soft powder snow which seems to ever renew itself and is with us now, fluffy and driven as ever. And what of the snow?! The ski slopes have been ripe, and we have sampled! I must say, Taiwan does not measure up in the winter sport department!

We have been eating moderately well, always in modest portions, of grass-fed artisan beefs from our local boutique ranch, mustard greens, topiary cactus flowers, evergreen sap preserves, fair-trade shade-crown cacao, olives, coriander, and the occasional fromage souffle. C'est la guerre! Whatever is in season, we are a slave to the local farming concerns!
Just the other day, L and I had lunch with Jose Fenugreek, a young oyster tycoon, rather ageless, who winters here and has invited us to his Tokyo estate. Perhaps we shall trouble him next spring, for I shall be on a mission yonder for the girls' shopping. Must stock up for Aubergine Prep while the getting's good!

My Welsh open-knits have fared very well, and everyone in town asks where I get them. It breaks my heart to think of old Mitzi straining away in the attic atelier while we basked in the hearth of the cottage all those years. So sad about her. But my, am I warm now!

B's supervisor at work has begged him to lunch with the President on several occasions now. Yes, THAT president! You know what Papa always used to say about friends in high places... Alas, B has been much too overworked and the spa is calling. Lucy brought home a trophy last week for Most Creative Overall Project in the regional science fair. We weren't sure she'd make it so far this year without Daddy's careful tinkering on her display, but my wee spawn has proven herself blood of my blood once again!


At this moment, I sit with my legs a-dangle from the unbleached raw cotton hammock adorning the winter ballroom. A little Chambord, another Creme de Cacao... we soldier on.


Missing you all terribly. Do come visit at your soonest convenience.


Kisses,

Tippy

Have you ever Hate-Pinned??

But you see, peeples, neither have I.

Maren LeKnockem (mronhubbard) on Pinterest



Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Danger, Dana!



Waiting waiting.

Her hands were leathery enough with blisters so she didn't mind how hot the steering wheel was. All day in the Nevada no-shade that car had waited, but her hands could take this hot wheel. Like having your own built-in gloves, she thought. How good she was. And it was nice to be in a car instead of nowhere. No car, then you're really nowhere. But a car is somewhere to be.

Waiting waiting

She banged the back if her head against the headrest over and over. It was rubbery like the booth at the diner, or a really nice McDonald's.
The headrests on which she rested her head hadn't always felt rubbery. She had felt something hard there before a long time ago in another car, something with sharp edges. Like a big plastic disposable knife for your head.
Anyway, you couldn't hurt yourself too bad this way, not if you were just sitting in the car and the car was just sitting in the sun. It was warm and everything, but it didn't burn her. She was all leather now.

They didn't have those nice rubbery booths at McDonald's anymore. They were still the same shiny bright red, but now they were just hard, so you didn't want to sleep in there too long, and also it was probably easier to clean up. If somebody was a real painintheass and made a real mess, they could just hose it all away. You, too, Goldie. Move your ass out of here and stop coming back. You're not supposed to be here. We take showers here in America.

Oh, yeah? You don't belong here, either, lady! No one belongs here. You think they want us here? God don't make it rain. He wants us to burn out here. Because we're not supposed to be here. Shouldn't come out here where it's so hot and there's less than nothing. He's saying its your own fault if you die out here. He's saying I told you so.
Dang! Why didn't I listen?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Beauty, irksome gift

"These gifts – irksome as they are – were given to me for the enjoyment and delectation of my fellow-creatures. I am a trustee for Beauty, and it is my duty to see that the conditions of my trust are faithfully discharged."
--from Gilbert & Sullivan's "Patience"

Saturday, December 1, 2012

De La Merde Déprimante, 7ème Parte

I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 7.

This post practically wrote itself. I added The Ambassador on Nerdflix, and all these got recommended to me. They must think I'm a glutton (or a gluten??) for punishment. They're at least partly right-- I plan to watch some of them.
Satan help me.


Movies

Diamonds of War: Africa's Blood Diamonds

End of the Road

Payback: Debt and the Shadow Side of Wealth

Rosetta (Netflix sez: "Desperate to escape the wretched trailer she shares with her alcoholic mother, 18-year-old Rosetta (Emilie Dequenne, who won Best Actress at the Cannes Film Festival) goes through many trials in an attempt to find a job -- or even a friend. This powerful Belgian film's stark portrayal of poverty led to a change in the teen labor laws of that country. Rosetta received an Independent Spirit Award nomination and won the Cannes Golden Palm.")

Surviving Progress



More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!
Part 5.
Part 6.

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.

Depressing Shit, Part 6; just morsels this time

I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 6.

Mere crumbs, this installment, but maybe that means the world is running out of depressing shit!   (Insert sounds of choking and spitting out a mouthful of beverage.)


Movies:

Harry Brown (Just see if you can make it through the first 5 minutes! And then there's MORE!)

Nil By Mouth (Netflix describes it thusly: "Acclaimed actor Gary Oldman makes his directorial debut with this searing drama, which tracks the lives of residents barely surviving in notorious South London, where everyone is striving to escape a drug-addled world of crushing poverty." I decided not to see this.)




More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!
Part 5.

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.


Thursday, November 8, 2012

(Possibly) Depressing Shit, Part 5

I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 5.

Movies:
The Girlfriend Experience [Feels eerily like a documentary. This reminded me of why I hate businessmen and the corporate world and why I probably shouldn't live in New York again-- i.e., the businessmen. If you happen to be a businessman or other corporate fuck, see this movie, see if you're like these men, and then understand why I hate you.]
Inside Job [The Netflix blurb describes it as a "sobering documentary." Just the kind of thing I don't want to pay for, thanks.]
Life and Debt
Maxed Out [haven't seen it, but it sure sounds depressing!]
Ordinary People [suggested by my friend Gabe]
Ponette [Cf. "Maxed Out"]
Sicko [again, haven't seen it, don't want to. I know stuff sucks and I don't need it spelled out for me over and over.]

TV show:
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo [according to Entertainment Weekly; I've only seen clips.]


More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Mad Tiger

Mal: I'm mad! Mad like a tiger!

Brin: Well, I'm pensive. pensive like a sparrow.

M: Well, I'm introspective like a WORM!

B: I'm plain like a pigeon.

M: That's not a state of mind!

B: It could be.

M: Are you trying to make me thnk again? You're trying to make me think again!

B: I can think about it for you.

M: Aw, babe. What would I ever do without you?

B: I guess you'd have to think.

[M and B hug and/or M hits B. The End.]

---

[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.] 

Donkey

Don: When I grow up, I'm gonna be a donkey.

Aunt Silver [always very serious]: So you are. Good child.

D: I'm gonna be a FAST donkey![[

A: Well, now, we'll have to wait and see about that. We do come from a long line of donkeys, but not all of them have won the blue ribbon.

D: DON-KEEEEEEYY!

A: I know. You children are always in such a hurry to grow up and become lightning-fast donkeys. But these things take a while.

D: Noooo... [drops to the floor and rolls around]

A: Now. How about you bake your Auntie Silver some nice apple pie?

[D suddenly perks up.]

D: Pie! [rushes out]

A [calling to D]: And save me some nice crumbs, too! Can you do that, little Don-don?

[D reenters with a donut on a plate, and hands both to A.]

A: Thank you, Don. [then aside, to the camera or audience] I get so much stuff for free this way!

[And this part is now like an END.]

---

[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.]






Game of Crying

Leem [sing-song]: I got three more clocks, three more clocks! I got three more clocks, 3moreclocks!

Glif: You're... so... lucky!

L: 3 more clocks, 3 more clocks!

G: Can I have some?! Can I have some?!

L: No... and... no.

G [groaning angrily]: Unnhhhnnn! You're so much better than me!

L: Don't feel bad. I'm just better than you. It's not YOUR fault.

G: It's not my fault!

[G starts fake crying, though it may not be apparent to the audience that it's fake. L takes G's arm.]

L: Let's go cry together... BABY.

[L makes a face as if trying very hard to cry.]

G: I'm a baby. It's my fault I'm bad.

[L suddenly stops trying to "cry."]

L: OK. That was fun. I'm gonna bring my Wishing Pone tomorrow.

G [now happy]: Bye!

L: Bye!

G: Bye! Bye!

L: Bye!

---

[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.]