It's Washington's birthday and I have everything to wear!
But no present to give 'im. And I haven't even started getting the appliances needed to make him his lucky stew.
"But he's dead," you might say. And we could debate on that.
But whether you choose to start a rumour as to Washignton's still being alive or not, dead people need to be paid tribute, too. And very famous dead people need costly, sparkly gifts.
So this Washington's Birthday, I won't just be pouring out frothy alcohols for this non-living man. I will be making excuses for not having presents for him. Real, non-symbolic presents, like socks, and maybe some hammers.
...OR we could all pretend things are OK just the way we want to do them. And that none of us are wrong.
[Please don't try to read anything deep into this. It might give me a headache thinking about how you might be giving yourself a headache.]
