Saturday, February 28, 2015

Yes, boy, ma'am

"That's just how little of anything there is."
"Good. Now go away."
"Boy, will I ever!" (twirls cap on finger while speeding hence)

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Ducks Unreal

"I cared until I found out they weren't real ducks."
"Yes, that's usually a hard blow to weather. Are you going to be OK?"
"Couldn't say. Too soon to know."
"Time will tell."

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Depressing Stuff #11-- Depressing Shit *Lite*


I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 11.


Just a lite version this time, because it's about time and you need to know what to avoid before it's too late.


movies:
All the Light In The Sky (haven't seen it, but the description is depressing enough.)
The Wolf of Wall Street (have seen it; depressing as hell.)

songs:
"In The Ghetto" by whoever

More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10 

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Depressing Shit, Part 10


I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 10.

Song:
"Live Free," Son Volt
pretty much everything by Son Volt, as far as I can tell 

TV shows:
"Southcliffe

 
...and if this article on child abuse doesn't obliterate your faith in the human race, I would like to congratulate you, and also stay as far away from you as I can.

Feeling down yet? Here's a song-- a little depressing, but funny:




More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9 

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Coward's Hairstyle

    How can one guy look so much like a cockroach? He hides behind something, in the dark, with one feeler poking out ever so slightly every once in a while. I'm telling you, here I am, parked in an alley late at night, sitting in my car, watching this guy...
    And what does that make me?
    Don't look too closely at the shadows.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Shit that's (probably) depressing, Part 9


I recommend you see part 1 of my Depressing Shit series and read my original disclaimer here; now here's installment 9.
 

Movies:
Everlasting Moments
Gonin(1)
How to Die in Oregon (I'm told)
12 Years A Slave (A friend told me this is GREAT and VERY DEPRESSING. I think I'll skip it because my psyche is fragile.)
Wendy and Lucy (haven't seen it, but LOOKS hecka depressing)
...and a guy @ Whole Foods said he thought Young Adult was a bummer, though I enjoyed it and it didn't affect me negatively. But I guess I can see how it might, for some.

Books:
The Beautiful and Damned
A CHILD OF A CRACKHEAD II (#1 was fine, I'm sure, but II...)

DEFINITELY Depressing song:
"Is That All There Is?"  I mean, GEEZ. Save a little depressing for something else, why don't you.

I have to go lie down now.

More depressing stuff: Read Part 2 here.
And here's Part 3.
And Part 4! Are you depressed yet?!
Part 5.
Part 6.
Part 7.
Part 8.

And as always, I welcome your suggestions for More Depressing Shit. Do comment, and I'll include any good suggestions in a future update.


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Best New People For Sending Lists To

I must clear one's slate here. Not my slate, just "one's."

Got a free subscription to FORBES Magazine recently, and it's not just the ugly faces on the cover that have begun to annoy me. No, it's their nonstop whining about how bad business people have it and how government regulation of business is ruining everything, and why can't they have everything they want right now because Damn it, they want it? Mine, mine! Everything should be MINE! (All this in the same issue when they proudly trumpet that capital gains are at record highs and the rich are richer than ever.)

So... A short note here on business people and other conservatives who are always calling for less government regulation on their business:

Government regulation, as unfun as it sounds, is the only thing standing between us and just letting rich business people control everything. Of course you want less government regulation, richies. Because without government regulation, the richest people would have absolute power! Kind of like going back to the era of medieval warlords and kings, but with scarier weapons.

Now, I know there are a lot of unhappy snipers who will say, "The rich already control everything anyway," "They own Congress," and so on, to which I say: Not quite.

Unless you already find yourself in slavery-- and I know some people do-- there is still some freedom left and some battling left to do. And no, corporate freedom is not the same as individual freedom. Don't even.

I could go on, but I get less cute the more I argue late into the invisible night.

So, everyone, go have fun, and let everyone enjoy their freedom as individuals. And Git off my lawn!

Monday, October 13, 2014

Free Follows & Likes... (Repost)



I'm eating this for breakfast, peepers. A frivolous new way to get extra followers on Twitter, likes on your Facebook page, G+ followers, Youtube subscribers, Vine followers, Instagram followers, and possibly other desirable things, too, but not undesirable things like germs 'n' diseases, or at least not so far. So join me in following a fun Pied Piper to our glorious digital doom...

Click here to get free follows, etc.

I mean, it's not the end of the world just yet, is it?
(Don't answer that.)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Unfinished Snack, Or Unlimited Shack, Or Alvin Or Bust (National Sketch Writing Month)

[This scene has untold numbers of blanks to fill in. Like a partial Mad Lib... Anyway, it could use a beginning & an end, & possibly some other things. Characters, so far: ALVIN & BUSTAMANTE or BUSTER.]

ALVIN: I will try. I will try! Now get away from me.

BUST: Try, Alvin, try!

A: OK, but say that over there instead.

[B goes over "there," which is not over "here."]

B: OK. Try!

A: No, never say that.

B: Are you sure?

A: No.