Tuesday, March 18, 2014

"How do you get motivated to run?"

I recently watched a video in order to earn some pretend money from the internet, a video called something like "How do you find the motivation to run?" But I already had lots of answers, and maybe some of them can help you or others. (There are others, aren't there?)

 --Go run out in one or more busy streets, preferably where the moving vehicles are moving.
 --Commit a crime in front of a cop. Go, go! You're getting in shape now!
 --Speaking of violent people, find some violent people who are fast on their feet and work on making them suddenly unhappy.
 --Get some people really angry at you, maybe by taking something of theirs... while they're watching, of course.

This is too easy. Maybe people should pay me extra money to come up with these useful tips for life. I take cash, direct deposit, and even fakey internet "bucks."

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

"This Is The Story, and It's Never Right"

"I have ingested another woman's spirit, and now I am never alone."

"Ingested? Are you sure?"

"And now I'll never be alone again."

"OK, but... I don't know if that's the right word for it."