Monday, July 23, 2012

I Hedge How I Hedge (How I Hedge!) and This Is How (I Hedge)

"Region buffer is not available at this drugstore, which is a normal drugstore, I am told. Region buffer may not be normal. If it may or may not be normal, then it may not be normal." It is permitted to be normal, so it may be normal, but it also may not be normal. It is free to be normal or not.

Region butter could (also) be something. [Only say "also" here if you have already said something else and are now adding (region butter) to it.] [Cut the previous bracketed part if you have not... Never mind, folks who aren't me. Absurdity is here now. ("ABSURDITY WAS HERE" could run for the office of Item of Graffitti.)]

Butter sounds better than buffer. Butter is often tasty and therefore good. It is remarkably or notably good, and therefore usually superior to other, not notably buttery things. The butteryer a thing is, the better, in most cases.

No one would casually guess that I'd consumed coffee today. Notice I didn't say "drank" or "drunk." Using the more general word "consumed" leaves room for other words, another way to hedge.

(From my archives: "Use lots of parentheses, especially when hedging.")

Watch out for updates later, since I can't seem to stop hedging deeper into absurdity.