Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Dang All Butterflies (National Sketch Writing Month)

[Some kind of sweet, happy classical instrumental music plays. BUTTERFLIES 1 & 2 (any genders, & their first names can be changed) do a "graceful" synchronized dance routine, 30 seconds or so, long enough to set a mood of niceness (pretty, feminine, genteel). Then BUTTERFLY 1 picks up or "pulls out" a wide piece of ribbon, several feet long, & unfurls it. BUTTERFLY 2 picks up the other end of the ribbon & they continue to dance, each still holding his or her end of the ribbon, this time dancing apart then coming together, hastily & half-heartedly attempting to tie their ends together in a bow, which they fail to do. Then they dance apart again, then come back together, & try again to gracefully tie the bow again. At this point they might get the ribbon tangled, then dance apart again, then come back together, then try again to make the ribbon look nice-- always while trying to dance gracefully & always failing to tie the bow. Music & BUTTERFLIES stop.]

BUTTERFLY 1: What the hell, man?!

BUTTERFLY 2 (folds arms over chest): Screw this.

B1: How can you say that? Tying pretty bows is what animates us butterflies!

B2: Yeah, but... But... [Pause.] There's no princess.

B1 (more quietly, patiently): I know. [Pause.] It's not the same without Kevin. Those flowing golden curls... Tying ribbons on her was the most natural thing in the world. It was like--

B2 (sadly): --magic.

[Pause while they both look sad for a moment, then:]

B1 (suddenly cheerful): But we'll get a new Kevin soon.

B2: I don't want a new Kevin! I'm done with all princesses. I've given up!

B1 (shocked, angry): You--!! Well, FINE! If you wanna know the truth, I've been thinking of breaking up the band for a long time.

B2: Oh, yeah? That's fine with me, too! That's just fine!

B1: Well, fine!

B2: Fine.

[They turn their backs to each other & both fold their arms over their chests & pout. Pause.]

B2 (gently): Brad?

B1 (also softened a little): What is it, Linda?

B2 (not gently): I hate you.

[The End... or is it??]