Monday, September 30, 2013

The Negative Piano

(2 people, A and B, each carrying some kind of equipment as if for doing some job. Maybe one has 2 briefcases, and the other has a huge tool belt, with odd tools, and is carrying an object whose purpose is not immediately clear-- maybe a small lamp... They're both walking purposefully, side by side, as though on their way to do some important task.)

A(on phone): ...and one grand piano. (Pause) No, not an upright. Absolutely no uprights. (Pause) That's right. (Pause) Why, thank you! How nice of you to say that! You, too. (Pause) OK. Thank you. Bye.
(Hangs up, then abruptly stops walking)
Oh, I forgot! He doesn't need a grand piano to shave!

B: So that means the upright's fine. Call her back! Do it right away! Wait-- what kind of a piano does he need?

A: You know what? He might not need a piano... at all. But I think I might know what he does need.

B: Oh... Yeah. I think I know... exactly what you mean.

A: Oh, yes...

B: We'll make a universe and put all kinds of stuff in it, maybe a big ball in the middle--

A: Yeah! And have little stuff running around on it! Like little characters!

B: Yeah, and they keep hitting each other!

A: Hells, yeah! And we can call the little ball--

(B burps.)

A: --"Earth?"

B: Sure, whatevs.

A: I don't get it. But let's do it anyway.

(They walk off together.)