Friday, September 14, 2012

A day late, involving no dollars whatsoever: A sketch for NaSkeWriMo

[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.]


Dude Bros and the Noodle of God


Jack: ...And after all this time, she's still interested in the cold noodle she found next to her office building in the noon-day sun.


BetaDude: It's a miracle.


J: It's a sign from God. I think we should be truly thankful. Let us pray.


B: Wait, I need a hot dog. [goes and gets hot dog, quickly reappears holding it.] OK. Now... go on.


J: As I was saying, dear God who art in Heaven, thank you for all your blessings you have bestowed on us. And thank you for the good friends you have given us in Amy and Weinman. And thank you for leaving that beautiful cold noodle on the ground for dear Amy to pick up and treasure.


Voice of God: I didn't do that.


J: God! Is that really you, God??


VOG: I didn't do the noodle.


J: It's a sign! It's really a sign! Oh, praise God!


B: But what about the noodle?


J: Screw the noodle! That was God speaking! To us! That was GOD!


B: Oh. I was pretty excited about the noodle, though. Can't we just pretend that that was still a miracle?


J: Dude. God. Just. Spoke. To US.


B: Mm, I think he was just talking to you that time.


J: Really? Didn't you hear him?


B: I don't know, Jack. No one really wants to talk to me. I'm not a social butterfly like you are.


J: Aww, that's sad. I am a social butterfly, though. You got that right. [Makes as if to high five BetaDude]


B: Yeah! I was right! I guess. Sometimes. Just that once. Thanks, dude.


J: Hey, don't thank me-- thank the Big Dude Upstairs!


B: Are you sure? I don't think he even knows I exist.


J: Dude! Like... [Has to think for a moment.] Do you want me to talk to him for you?


B: Yeah. [hides his face in his hands like a little girl]