Sunday, September 30, 2012

Just Act Natural, Actor

Divro: We're going to shoot this video, and we're going to show it before and in between the other parts of the show, ok?

Tamale: Ok.
 

D: So just get out there, and I'll already be shooting, and I want you to just do whatever. Just be yourself.
 

T: Just be myself?
 

D: Just be yourself.
 

T: Like how do you want me to be myself? What do you want me to do exactly?
 

D: You know... Just do what you always do. Just... Do what you'd normally do.
 

T: What I'd normally do?
 

D: Yeah. You know... Just... mess around.
 

T: Just mess around?
 

D: Yeah, just mess around. Goof around.
 

T: Goof around?
 

D: Yeah, you know. Just mess around. Goof around. Do what you like.
 

T: Just do what I like?
 

D: Yeah. Just do that.
 

T: Oh. Ok. I'll try to do that.
 

D: Ok. That's what I want.
 

T: So, like here... Here I am, in front of this fruit stand.
 

D: Yeah, yeah! That's great! It's, like, totally natural!
 

T: Yeah. So here I am. I'm just standing here. But if I get really natural, I might just... fall down.
 

[T sinks down on his or her feet.]
 

D: Ok, ok... or alternately, you could... wave at the camera. Yeah. How about you wave at the camera?
 

T: From down here on the ground?
 

D: Sure... Yeah, OK. I guess that could work... [T waves insincerely.] OK, OK, that's great... You're just... down there on the ground. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah.
 

T: Now what if I pull you down here with me? [pulls D's leg; D crumples down.]
 

D: Whoa! I mean... I guess that's cool. I mean, this is what you'd naturally do, right?
 

T: Naturally. [D keeps trying to videotape T.] I mean, I'm just being natural.
 

D: Of course. Right?

T: I don't know how else do be natural. I mean, this is just... me being me.

D: Exactly. That's exactly what I want.

[T slaps D over and over several times, first one cheek then the other, with a number or small, quick slaps. D looks confused.]


D: Brilliant! Just brilliant.


[T suddenly stands up.]


T: That's a wrap!


D [pleasantly surprised]: Wow! If you say so.


---

[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.]