Sunday, September 30, 2012

Happy Everyone

[Mila and Fundis are in a kitchen. Both appear to be grown women. Fundis could also be male or of indeterminate gender.]

Mila [on phone]: Thanks, Mom. Can't wait to get your check. [Pause.] Yeah, you, too. Bye. [hangs up] I got the dolly dolly dollars!

Fundis [in a breathy, baby talkish voice with an English accent that might not sound authentic]: Hahppy, hahppy girl! Oh, hahppy, hahppy!

M: Yeah. I'm happy, alright. Fundis, what've we got for lunch?

F [pointing at M in a stupid way with both hands]: Hahppy, hahppy! Dolly girl Milly Mila doll hahppy happy dolly girl!

M: I guess we could have tuna sandwiches. We still have some bread left, right?

[M starts looking around the kitchen, opening the fridge, cupboards, and so on.]

F: Bready bready hahppy hahppy! Good girl! Hahppy girl for everyone!

M: Good. We've still got some canned tomatos [pulls can from cupboard, puts it on table] and potato skins.

[M gets stuff out from various places, putting things on the table. F picks up 2 plates and hands them directly to M with a bog, expectant smile, and then just stands there looking triumphant.]

M: Thanks, Fundis. [M starts putting things on plates, prepping sandwiches.] I'm sure lucky to have my mom and dad as parents. So are you. WE'RE lucky my mom and dad are my parents.

F: Lucky lucky hahhpy hahppy girly girly Mila Mila Milly moo!

M: Yeah, I'll get a real job one of these days.

F: Hahppy Milly Mila Fundy Fundis hahppy hahppy?

M: I know. This IS my job. You're more important than any job. And you know what, Fundis? Whatever you say goes, and that's the way I like it. [Pause. Then they hug.] You're the best life coach ever!

F: Hahppy dolly everybody! Wheeeee!

[Da End, for now...]


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[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.]