Sylvia and Daniel
Sylvia: You owe me, Daniel. Your leaves are on fire because of me.
Daniel: I know, Sylvia. I owe everything to you.
S: Well, next time you look at that burnt-down tree in your yard, you can thank me.
D: I know. You didn't have to set fire to it and the rest of my yard for me, but you did it anyway, and I can't tell you how grateful I am.
S: Well, try.
D: I... I... Actually, I just wanted you to burn down my house, not the yard, but it's the thought that counts.
S: You vile little scumtard! I do the finest yard burnings in the tri-county area. People wait for years for me to burn their landscapes. And you're complaining? You've got the stupidest balls I've ever seen.
D: [ashamed] Yeah, for a human. But really, Sylvia, the burnt yard is starting to grow on me. I've never seen a yard burnt so completely and so... so...
S: Skillfully? Masterfully?
D: Mindeatingly. And with such... jiggly feet.
S: They are extremely jiggly, aren't they? My father always told me they would make the other girls jealous. And how right he was. He'll never know. [Pause, reflective.] I love you, Daddy. [gazing off in the distance]
D: I know. I loved him, too. He and I shared a passion, you know. For a woman's naked, jiggling... feet.
[Pause. Sylvia stares at Daniel with an unreadable expression.]
S: Let's go take a reggae cruise together.
D: Sylvia! [They embrace.]
[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.]
Sylvia: You owe me, Daniel. Your leaves are on fire because of me.
Daniel: I know, Sylvia. I owe everything to you.
S: Well, next time you look at that burnt-down tree in your yard, you can thank me.
D: I know. You didn't have to set fire to it and the rest of my yard for me, but you did it anyway, and I can't tell you how grateful I am.
S: Well, try.
D: I... I... Actually, I just wanted you to burn down my house, not the yard, but it's the thought that counts.
S: You vile little scumtard! I do the finest yard burnings in the tri-county area. People wait for years for me to burn their landscapes. And you're complaining? You've got the stupidest balls I've ever seen.
D: [ashamed] Yeah, for a human. But really, Sylvia, the burnt yard is starting to grow on me. I've never seen a yard burnt so completely and so... so...
S: Skillfully? Masterfully?
D: Mindeatingly. And with such... jiggly feet.
S: They are extremely jiggly, aren't they? My father always told me they would make the other girls jealous. And how right he was. He'll never know. [Pause, reflective.] I love you, Daddy. [gazing off in the distance]
D: I know. I loved him, too. He and I shared a passion, you know. For a woman's naked, jiggling... feet.
[Pause. Sylvia stares at Daniel with an unreadable expression.]
S: Let's go take a reggae cruise together.
D: Sylvia! [They embrace.]
[See the site of National Sketch Writing Month for the meaning of all this.]
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